


Turn Back Time

by Alexia_moreau



Category: woso
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-29
Updated: 2019-07-29
Packaged: 2020-07-25 19:20:53
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,080
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20031019
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alexia_moreau/pseuds/Alexia_moreau
Summary: It's five am and Alex's world is crumbling and there is nothing she can do about it.





	Turn Back Time

**Author's Note:**

> Well guys, this is the first fic that i'm posting on here. If you like it, please leave a like or a comment, i would greatly appreciate it. Hope you like this.

It’s five am and Alex is finally heading to bed, the events of the day finally settling into her, like coursing through her veins, as well as the alcohol she’s drunk all night. It’s five am and Alex is a world champion. It’s five am and Alex is a crying world champion. It’s five am.... and Alex can’t fall asleep. It’s five am and Alex is sad and lonely...

It’s four am and Alex is walking back to the hotel with tears in her eyes. It’s four am and Alex is drunk and sad and mad and a world champion, but somehow that isn’t enough. It’s four am and she can’t help but be mad at herself for what she has just done, for how she has acted tonight, for what she has said. 

It’s three am and Alex is leaving the party, angry, sad, rejected and mostly, alone. It’s three am and the realization of what she has just done finally settles into her. It’s three am and Alex is scared that she might have ruined everything that was still standing in her life. It’s three am and Alex is sitting on a bench on the streets of Lyon, drunk, lonely, sad. The tears streaming down her face aren’t happy tears like she’d hoped. They’re angry tears, sad tears, lonely tears. It’s three am and a photographer tries taking her photo, which really isn’t a good thing right now. It’s three am and she’s leaving the scene like her life depends on it, like she needs more space to breathe. It’s three am and the photographer is confused, but lets her go, disappointed in the poor shot he got, unable to capture the world champion’s face. 

It’s two am and Kelley is crying and shaking her head. It’s two am and Kelley is crying after having won a World Cup. It’s two am and Kelley is crying after having won a World Cup because Alex is in love with her. It’s two am and Kelley is crying after having won a World Cup because Alex is in love with her, and it’s too late. It’s two am, and it’s too late for Kelley to be able to reciprocate Alex’s feelings because Kelley is in love with someone else. It’s too late because if Alex had come up with this sooner than maybe... But now it’s two am and it’s too late for Kelley to love Alex, even though she does love her, but It’s too late. 

It’s one am and Alex is dancing her ass off with her teammates. It’s one am and Alex is on top of a bar, champagne bottle in hand and living her best life... well... almost. It’s one am and Alex is dancing on a bar top when she catches glimpses of Kelley, far in the distance, dancing with her friends and her girlfriend. It’s one am and Alex feels sick to her stomach, but not because of all the alcohol she’s ingested. It’s one am and Alex is in love with Kelley. It’s one am and Alex had always been in love with Kelley. It’s one am and Alex almost slips from the bar top. She’s a little bit tipsy, she says, trying to hide the obvious, after Allie catches her. Careful she tells her and suggests she climb down. It’s one am when Alex makes up her mind and asks Kelley if they can go talk in private somewhere. It’s one am when Kelley agrees, smiling cheekily. It’s one am when they reach a quiet corner of the otherwise very loud bar. It’s one am when Alex throws herself in Kelley’s arms, hugging her like it might be the last. It’s one am and Kelley is confused but blames it on the alcohol and her small concussion. It’s one am and Kelley hugs Alex back, tightly, comfortably. And it’s still one am when Alex looks at Kelley with tear filled eyes and says a short sentence that feels like is never going to end. It’s one am when Alex finally tells Kelley, I’m in love with you. 

It’s midnight when they reach the bar and start drinking again. It’s midnight and Alex is drinking her life away, hoping alcohol will make everything better. It’s midnight and Servando is next to her, but he isn’t really. It’s midnight and his head is back at his hotel, where his girlfriend is waiting patiently for him to finish pretending he’s still Alex’s husband. It’s midnight and Alex knows he doesn’t want to be there. It’s midnight when she tells him he should go. Thank you for coming, she says. To these people, we’re still married, he reminds her. Like she has forgotten. It’s midnight and Alex hasn’t forgotten that her and Servando are not husband and wife anymore. It’s midnight and it’s all she can think of really. All she can think of, well, that and the one she has secretly been wishing would fill the hole in her stomach. It’s midnight and Alex is looking at Kelley from across the room. It’s midnight and Kelley isn’t even looking back. Instead, she’s hugging her girlfriend. It’s midnight and Alex feels a spike of jealousy, again. It’s midnight and it should be her in Kelley’s arms, warm and comfortable, safe. 

It’s nine pm and they are celebrating in the locker room. It’s nine pm and there is champagne everywhere. It’s nine pm and Kelley is drinking and dancing and jumping and Alex can’t help but smile at her. It’s nine pm and Alex can’t help but feel lighter. 

It’s eight pm and they are almost done celebrating on the field. It’s eight pm and Alex is trying hard not to be sick when Kelley jumps up to reach and kiss her girlfriend. It’s eight pm and Alex walks to the stands and pulls herself up to kiss Servando, like it’ll make it go away. It’s eight pm when she apologizes to Servando for kissing him on camera, knowing he isn’t alone in Lyon and that his girlfriend might not like seeing them kiss, even if it’s just for show. 

It's seven pm and Alex is taking pictures with Kelley and Allie on the field. It’s seven pm and they have just won the 2019 Women’s World Cup for the second time in a row. It’s seven pm and Kelley is jumping up and down on the field, flag on her back, next to Alex, whose heart feels like it might just jump out of her chest cavity and explode because the way Kelley is looking at her is making her want to kiss her right then and there. It’s seven pm and Alex doesn’t kiss Kelley.

It’s six pm and Kelley hits heads with another player on the pitch. It’s six pm and Alex is worried, because Kelley isn’t getting up. It’s six pm and when Kelley finally gets up, Alex seems relieved, and when Kelley is subbed off at half time, Alex can’t help but feel grateful. It’s six pm and Alex feels selfish for being grateful Kelley isn’t playing the second half.   
It’s five pm and they are in the tunnel, about to head to the field for the game that could change the face of women’s soccer. It’s five pm when Alex heads out of line and walks over to Kelley. A smile from her and she feels like she’s about to melt. A quick hug and a good luck out there are all she can manage in the moment. 

But now it’s five am and Alex is laying in bed, with tears in her eyes, thinking about all that she’s lost in the last hours. It’s five am and she’s thinking of Rio 2016, when they lost way too early in the tournament and Kelley was there, caressing her back as they cried together in their hotel room, laying on the same bed. It’s five am and Alex is thinking about the 2015 World Cup in Canada, and the way she almost let the words slip out of her mouth right when they won. I love you. Back then she wasn’t as confident, or perhaps, drunk, as she had been tonight. It’s five am and Alex thinks back on her wedding day and the way she had felt so conflicted with everything. She had known, back then, she had known than she wanted Kelley. It’s five am and Alex knows that if she had just told Kelley back then than maybe it could have been, but with Servando it was easy, familiar and reassuring. While the possibility of being with Kelley, back then was… scary.. She wasn’t ready to make the jump, not yet, so instead she settled for easy, a nice guy who could treat her right. But, with time, Alex realised that being married to Servando wasn’t what she wanted, realised that in difficult times, her mind would wonder what Kelley was doing, Where Kelley was, who she was with, how much better it would be if she was here, with her. It’s five am and Alex remembers the day the papers were signed, officialising the divorce and how bad she had wanted to call Kelley. She had, in fact, called her, but Kelley was in Utah, playing against Portland and therefore, did not answer. When Kelley called back, Alex didn’t feel like talking anymore, and ignored the call, even though she missed Kelley. It’s five am and Alex misses Kelley, even if she has seen her only hours ago. It’s five am and Alex feels like she’ll miss Kelley forever because Kelley doesn’t love her back, at least, not in the way she wishes Kelley could love her. It’s five am and Alex knows it’s selfish to want Kelley to love her, because Kelley is already in love with someone else. 

It’s six am and Alex is still crying, only softer, and exhausted. It’s six am and there’s a knock on the door. Alex almost doesn’t hear it between her sniffles. She hesitates for a moment before getting up and heading for the door, doing her best to dry the tears on her face. It’s six am when Alex opens the door, revealing a crying Kelley. After a moment too long, Kelley enters the room and heads straight for the chair near the window. Alex hangs in the door frame a little longer, trying to piece herself back together, looking into the hallway. It’s six am when Alex takes a deep breath and heads back into her room. It’s six am when Kelley stands up and motions for Alex to sit down on her bed. It’s six am and Kelley is pacing the room back and forth, trying to collect her thoughts and wondering how to start. It’s six am when Kelley stops and looks at Alex’s face, her heart feeling cold in her chest, feeling like she is the reason for all of this. It’s six am when Kelley finally settles on where to start.

“It’s you, Alex” Kelley starts, earning a look from the shattered looking brunette. “It’s always been you.” Alex is confused but lets her continue. “It’s been you since we met, at that first nationals camp, back in 2009 when you smiled at me and told me my goal was great. It’s been you since we lost in 2011 at the World Cup, and we laid in bed together, frustrated and vowing never to let that happen to us ever again. It’s been you since the Olympics in 2012 when we won and you hugged me and I kissed your neck and frankly, Alex, your neck really wasn’t what I wanted to kiss in that moment. It’s been you since we moved to LA together for three months. Everyday of those three months felt like a living dream and I never wanted it to end. It’s been you since the day it did end, and we went back to our separate lives and I missed you every single day because you weren’t there to brush my teeth anymore or try my food and tell me how terrible it was but eating it all anyways. It’s been you since I got a girlfriend, and every time I kissed her, I pictured your face, and still it wasn’t enough. It’s been you since you got married and I came to your wedding and I watched you give your entire life to someone who wasn’t me, someone who made you happy in the way that I should. It’s been you since I cried for days after the wedding and got into a fight with my girlfriend because, why would I be so upset for no reason, because there was a reason and she couldn’t stay when she figured out what that reason was. It’s been you since the 2015 World Cup, when we won for the first time together and it felt like a fucking dream, and all I wanted to do was run up to you and kiss you, right after I scored my first goal against Germany, but my girlfriend was right there and Servando was two feet away from her and it would have been wrong. It’s been you since Rio 2016, when we lost and we laid in bed together and I rubbed your back while we both cried, reminiscing the promise we had made years ago and how we had let ourselves down. It’s been you since 2017, when you got loaned to Olympique Lyonnais, and I thought I’d never be able to live for six months without seeing you at all. It’s been you since I got surgery in 2018 and you were there every step of the way, literally, and you went on this crazy goal strike and I was so proud of you. It’s been you since the first game of this World Cup, when you scored the first goal of the tournament on my assist, and then went on to score four more goals. It’s been you since the game against Spain, when you secretly helped me cool off after you’d been fouled one too many times and I was this close to punch someone. It’s been you since the game against France, and right before you told me, fuck the haters, you guys will do good, and I believed you, because how can you not believe every single thing that comes out of your mouth. And we did win, and it felt glorious, and I jumped into your arms and hid away from the world and the critics in your neck and it felt good, comfortable, safe. It’s been you since the game against England, when you congratulated me on my “great assist”, to put it in your words. It’s been you since the final, a few hours ago, when I hit my head against that other player and you ran to me and asked me if I was okay, clearly concerned about me, and how relieved you’d looked when they subbed me out. I was pretty bummed out, but then I realized that it was because you cared about me. It’s been you since that final whistle finally blew and you and I celebrated together, took picture together, kissed the trophy together. It’s been you since I went back into the stands to kiss my girlfriend because I needed too and all the hype made me feel on top of the world, but then I kissed her and I realised that she’s not the one that I wanted to be kissing, Alex because that person was you. And I tried, Alex, I really tried to lock these feelings deep down, because you could never love me back, you were happy, with someone else, you were happy with Servando, and I was happy with her, I was, and I tried hard to love her, I did, but Alex I could never fall in love with her the same way I fell in love with you. And she knows, and she’s back in her hotel room because I just broke her heart, and I know that, but I couldn’t keep lying to her, I couldn’t keep lying to myself and I can’t keep lying to you. I’m in love with you Alex.” 

It’s seven am when Alex get up and heads straight to Kelley, ingulfing in into an oh so needed, pressure relieving kiss. Its sweet at first, but rapidly heating up. Kelley’s hand is on the back of Alex’s head and the other on her lower back, holding her close. Alex’s hands are on Kelley’s hips, pushing her lightly towards the bed. When Kelley’s legs touch the soft fabric of the sheets, she lets herself lean back against the bed and Alex climbs on top of her, keeping their lips connected. Kelley switches them so she is now laying on top of Alex and disconnects their lips so her mouth can leave a trail of kisses on Alex’s jaw line and on Alex’s neck like she’d done, back in 2012, after they had won the Olympics. The contact to Alex’s neck is enough to snatch a moan out of her mouth, which only encourages Kelley further. It’s seven am when Kelley removes Alex’s shirt and bra and admires her for the first time like this. It’s seven am when Kelley tells Alex, you’re so beautiful, with tear filled eyes, and Alex reconnects their lips, never wanting them apart again. Alex doesn’t mind when Kelley disconnects their lips once more and starts kissing down on her chest, between her breasts, on her belly button, and then her hands are tugging on Alex’s jeans, lightly, asking for permission to remove them. Alex grants it, unbuttoning and unzipping them, giving Kelley the opportunity to take them off as well as her panties. Kelley moves back up to Alex’s face to kiss her again and Alex pulls her shirt off. The next hours consists of a series of moans and heavy breath and relief.

It’s nine am and they are lying in bed together, naked, their bodies still hot from recent activities. As they face each other, Kelley can’t help but smile to herself. Alex’s face turns a light shade of red. It’s nine am and the storm as passed. It’s nine am and Alex loves Kelley. It’s nine am and Kelley loves Alex. It’s nine am and they both know that from now on, everything is going to be okay.


End file.
